Below is some thought I wrote down 10 days before going on my first ayahuasca pilgrimage in June of 2021.
‘My first Ayahuasca trip is in ten days’
Ten days is nothing but the days feel longer and longer. It’s the nerves. I’m nervous about the whole thing. So to calm some of my nerves, I’m sharing a few of my anticipating thoughts on paper. May these reflections bring me something in the future.
Why consume an Amazonian plant mix?
You might have read it in previous posts, but I used to struggle with generalized anxiety and stints of depression. Both conditions have worked themselves into my brain during a challenging period—a period of severe stress, panic attacks and uncertainty.
One panic attack in the middle of a busy gas station pushed me over the edge. From that moment, anxiety has never really left my body.
I’ve reduced my anxiety to 20% of the peak levels when it all started. I’m grateful for my progress, but I need to go the extra mile.
I know ayahuasca is no silver bullet, but I hope it will show me if my current direction is the one I’m supposed to take.
How I’m preparing 🧘
- I’m managing my expectations. I’ve seen many Youtube videos of people hoping for an overnight cure. I’m not hoping for anything. I hit a personal plateau, so I want to experiment with different methods. I hope the experience is rich.
- The organization I’m doing it with has strict rules and guidelines for preparing. I’m following all the prescribed protocols to the teeth.
- I’ve spoken and prepared with my physician. She’s no fan which is allowed. I think it’s a generational difference.
- And finally, I will take two days off before the ceremony and minimize all triggers and inputs. I want to be completely open to anything and everything that comes to me during the ceremony.
I will reflect on these writings once the ritual is finished after the 17th of April 2021.
Quick disclaimer: don’t do drugs unless you really want to and you know how to do it safe or under supervision. Set and setting are the most important parts of responsible consumption of mind-altering psychedelic compounds.
This article is not an endorsement.