The Fear of What’s to Come
I’m afraid of the next four months. Not because something terrible will happen but because they will demand a lot from me. Balancing my training, work, family, and writing will be tough.
Running: The Mileage Skyrockets
My weekly mileage will soon hit 80, 90, or even 100 kilometers. These are new distances for me. I’ve had high mileage weeks before, like 60-plus miles with 2000 meters plus elevation, but this time, it’s different. Now, I’m not peaking and tapering. I’m just pushing higher and higher.
And I feel it. My knees, tendons, shins, and feet ache. My body is adapting but also sending tiny warnings. The last four months of increased mileage and tougher trails are taking their toll.
One thing surprises me:
I want to run faster and faster. Before, speed didn’t matter because I wasn’t fit enough. Slow running feels less enjoyable, so I’ve overdone it slightly these past three weeks. The back-to-back trail runs with over 60 miles, and 5000+ feet of elevation might have been too much.
Still, I’ve felt this before. While training for my last marathon, I experienced the same exhaustion and aches. That cycle strengthened me, and this one will, too. As long as I keep listening to my body and obeying its signals, I will come out ahead.
The Challenge of Parenting While Exhausted
The exhaustion isn’t just physical. It drains me mentally, too. Running amplifies everything, including my patience with my kids. My two-year-old twins are deep in the “NO” phase. They refuse to get dressed, brush their teeth, or go to kindergarten. I know it’s normal, but that doesn’t make it easier.
Their personalities are developing. They’re not just happy toddlers anymore. They have their own quirks and strong opinions. It’s tough, and I’m struggling.
Some moments stick with me. Like with my son Logan. He’s sweet and gentle, but I have to be firm when he refuses to cooperate. When I hold out his underwear, and he won’t step in, I have to guide him with more force. I feel bad about it. But we have a schedule. We need to be out the door in five minutes.
To him, though, schedules don’t matter. He’s living in the moment. And when you’re enjoying the moment, you don’t want someone rushing you.
Still, I remain hopeful. My children are a mirror, reflecting parts of myself I might not otherwise see. They push me to grow, adapt, build patience, and practice empathy. They demand that I slow down and truly engage. These lessons are difficult but valuable. In the end, they are exactly what I need to learn.
Work: From Fine to Great
Work is picking up, and I’m pushing myself. Not because I have to but because I want to be great at my job.
I’ve been in sales for nearly three years, bringing in almost 3 million for the company I work for. That’s good and all, but I know I can do better. Right now, I’m hyper-efficient. But efficiency isn’t greatness. I can level up if I apply my discipline from running to outbound sales.
I genuinely believe that the discipline and mental toughness I’ve gained from running can help me excel in my job. At its core, being great at my job comes down to creating pipeline through opportunity generation and converting that pipeline into sales.
It’s a simple formula, just like running. Success in both areas relies on taking small, consistent steps every day. These steps are extremely easy; you just have to do a lot of it and be extremely consistent and dedicated. The more I think about it, the more it clicks. The same principles that drive me forward in running, discipline, resilience, and persistence apply directly to my work.
Yet something nags at me. Sales as a career, in my mind, has only one way up: management (as with 90% of careers, I assume). And that doesn’t excite me. The question, “Is there enough upward potential?” lingers in my mind. Maybe everyone thinks about this at some point…
Now that we’re on the topic of my forward-looking career… I’m still not sure where my career is headed. I don’t have a clear plan, and no defined north star guides me. There was a time when I had one, but since becoming a regular employee, that North Star has faded. It bothers me slightly, yet the funny thing is that my job is stable and comfortable. Nothing is forcing me to define a new North Star.
Sometimes, I wonder if this comfort is making me too complacent. Without pressure, I’m not pushed to make bold decisions. But that’s a thought for another time. Right now, I have other things to focus on.
Betting and Investing
The recent sale of one of our rental properties has left me with a significant amount of cash. I’ve never been this liquid, and it makes me uneasy. To avoid unnecessary spending, I decided not to spend a dime of the money for six months. More money in the bank could easily lead to more discretionary spending, and I don’t want my lifestyle to change because of it.
For now, I’m just holding onto it, occasionally checking my banking app. But as the months pass, I’m slowly forming a plan for when the six month mark arrives. May 2025, coincidentally the same month I’ll be running Snowdonia 100K. May will be a big month where a lot of things come together.
In the meantime, while we’re in a self-imposed financial stalemate, I’ve been focusing on betting, specifically on Polymarket. My current Profit / Loss stands at plus 18,000 USDC profit, which is a solid result. I have only a single active bet at this moment in time. I’m betting that Kanye will NOT drop an official Crypto Token before the end of February. This market, however, is turning out to be extremely strange with behavior that throws off signals of insider trading, but at this point, it’s unproven.
I’d love to dive deep into the reasoning behind my current bet, but lately, I’ve had less time for detailed analysis. Right now, these are smaller, less significant bets. However, one bet that stands out to me is whether Trump will meet with Putin before April 29, 2025.
I believe they will meet. One big reason? Trump’s ambition for a Nobel Peace Prize. He wants to cement his place in history, and a high-profile diplomatic meeting could be a major step toward that. His recent behavior shows me that he is determined to outperform every other president in history.
On a personal note, I have a cheeky goal. To make enough money from betting to buy an air-cooled Porsche 911 from the 1970s or 1980s. That’s the dream. I’ll keep making smart bets and pushing forward toward that goal. And, of course, I’ll keep reporting on my progress.
The Commitment to Writing
Lately, I’ve been considering starting a Substack instead of continuing with this blog. Substack has the advantage of delivering content directly to people’s inboxes, putting my writing in front of them in a way that a blog doesn’t. However, this blog has a rich history. It contains everything I’ve written, neatly organized, and it’s all there in one place. There’s something valuable about that continuity.
It’s just something I’m thinking about for now; I haven’t made any decisions yet.
On top of it all, I want to write more. I promised myself that 2025 would be the year I invest in my writing. I want to capture my journey and be consistent.
But weekly writing adds more pressure. More time management. More planning. Running, working harder, and managing more demanding kids all happen at once.
The Big Win
The next four months will test me. I need to be smart with my time, my rest, and my priorities. But if I pull this off, it will be a huge personal win. Not just for me, but for my family.
