I’ve written 350+ diary entries in the past year. That’s a record for me.
I’ve written a lot in the past, but never this much.
The difference is that I’ve kept a strict journaling format this year.
My format is standardized and easy to use. I ask myself a few simple questions to trigger specific answers.
One question that never got scrapped from the format is the following:
What have I learned today?
I ask the question because normal life has many hidden pearls of wisdom to offer. You need to open your eyes and ask yourself these simple questions consistently.
Trust me, these hidden “wisdom gems” will appear in abundance once you open your eyes and ask the right questions. Collecting these gems is easy, write them down.
As you know, I do a weekly reflection (check out the Notion template and the method I use here) in which I round up all the daily lessons from last weeks journal entries. By doing so, I reflect on the lessons again on a later date.
This is necessary because you: 1) come up with a lesson, 2) write it down which engraves it into your brain, and then 3) on a later date you review the lesson again. Think, write and review that is the process for instilling wisdom.
Up until today, I never did anything fancy with these lessons, which is fine.
But I want to test the lessons in the wild. And others might get some value out of them too. So I’m going to use my journalling entries to make a weekly “Lessons I’ve Learned this week” post.
Let’s start with the lessons from week 44 today:
Don’t be afraid of conflict; it comes when you try to do significant things.
Deep down, I’m terrified of conflict. I’m scared of what people might think of me. This makes me ultra bendable when it comes to my opinions and also the way I handle myself. You could say my mental spine is as flexible as a water hose. It’s who I am, and I’m not ashamed of it. I see it, and I want to change it, I want to grow. For this, my behaviour needs to change one step at a time.
Sub lessons: It’s okay to ask for something that you want. It’s okay to show yourself. It’s okay to stand your ground and to say No. It’s okay to share your REAL opinions. Share your voice. I should have done so many many years ago.
Once you do something or do something that is meaningful conflict will inevitably arise. Do I want to lead an insignificant life? Do you?
I need to know how far I’m willing to go when it comes to building a company.
In the past week, I came up with seven questions every entrepreneur should ask themselves during a rough patch. These seven questions guide me in my thinking.
I now know what the maximum exertion of energy is for me when building a company. I have a hard stop button; I have a quitting contract with myself. I now know when enough is enough. This makes your output measurable, and therefore you have a better global read on your current situation.
You should know what you’re willing to sacrifice to achieve that what you desire. You are human. Unlimited output is not humanly possible.
Check out the questions yourself, and hopefully, they’ll help you reflect on how far you’re willing to go to reach your end goals.
I need to take my time before I answer.
Again, these lessons stem from fear. I realize that many of my lessons are about overcoming fear. This lessons again comes back to my fear of silence.
I wouldn’t say I like silence. I’m afraid of silence. I think I prefer speaking my mind or speaking, in general, more than confronting myself with the dread of silence. I think it has to do with control. I can’t control a silence, so that is why I avoid it. Maybe that’s it, maybe not…
In the business, world silence is often used as a tactic to lure people into saying something stupid, incriminating yourself, or luring you into saying something that can be used against them. I’ve had to learn this the hard way with my investors/advisors.
I used to speak my mind openly, and I used to pride myself for my thought transparency. Still, true transparency is an Achilles heel in business when you’re in an ongoing negotiation or power struggle/conflict.
So take a breather before you speak. Especially when an impactful question is asked, take some time to think for 5 seconds and be deliberate in what you say.
Don’t be liberal in what you say, be deliberate in what you say.
Periods of crisis are a blessing in disguise because they help you see what is truly essential.
Hard times grant you an opportunity to trim the fat, go back to basics, and make tough decisions that weren’t so apparent during easy times. Decisions that help you operate leaner and more effective in the long run.
Coming back to overhead. Tough times show you where real overhead is in place and where it should be trimmed down.
Hard times force you to cut loose that which is not the core, which is not essential.
In short, great opportunities present themselves at all times. Keep your eyes open and don’t be afraid to kill your darlings.
There is no easy way out, only a boring middle.
The quote below made me realize that I don’t want to be in the middle and be a mere presence. My heart is where hard is. If you want a lot, there is no easy way out and things never get easier. They only thing you can do is become better at coping with the hard in your life.
Marriage is hard, divorce is hard, choose your hard
Obesity is hard, being fit is hard, choose your hard
Being in debt is hard, being financially disciplined is hard, choose your hard
Communicating is hard, not communicating is hard, choose your hard
Life wil never be easy, but we can choose our hard. Pick wisely
Unknown
I do not want to stay in the middle. The extremes are where things get interesting and fun:)
Those were the lessons, my dear friend.
I hope they’ve inspired you to think a little bit different.
Let’s meet at the next one and have a great week!